4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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