Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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