You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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