Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
