So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
