Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
