a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
