also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
