it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
