the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Semen is not good for contacts.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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