she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
