so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
