if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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