the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
they're like a gay fantastic four
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
