I didn't shave. On purpose
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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