he shaved USA in his pubs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
