I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
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I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
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just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.