What should our trivia night team be named?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Church boner. Awkwardddd
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here