I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
