THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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