What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo