FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO