Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So vagazzling was a success