I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
