Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.