she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about