I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
