Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
