there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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