I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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