Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
