So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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