ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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