and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize