We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize