Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
