had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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