how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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