Cold hands, warm shart.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
