FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
