guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
