it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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