I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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