I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You are a genius and a whore.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
