My first STD was from a foam party
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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