Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
