According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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