i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
