sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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