I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
