i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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