i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
