she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
