member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
