Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
