I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
