I think I am morally bankrupt
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
