Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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