2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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