Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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