I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
