Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
