I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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