He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
