Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
