i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
